Unexpected Road Trip
by drisles
Summary: Until today, Maura Isles had never been on a road trip. [Rizzles fanfic challenge week 33: road trip] My take on Frost's death.


**A/N:** This story deals with Frost's death.

* * *

Until today, Maura Isles had never been on a road trip.

Now, sitting in the back seat of Korsak's SUV, she wished that statement were still true.

When Maura thought about going on a road trip, she envisioned sitting shotgun in Jane's car. Loud music, windows down, hair blowing, fast food packaging littering the floor.

She did _not_ envision being sat in the backseat, staring at the back of Korsak's head. Sitting in silence, windows up, tissues littering the floor.

When Maura looked in the rearview mirror, she met Korsak's gaze. His eyes glazed over; agreeing to drive to keep his mind off of the day's events.

She glanced at Frankie who was sitting in the passenger seat, staring solemnly out the window.

Lastly, she turned her head to the right. To Jane. To her best friend. Under normal circumstances, she could look to her friend and smile. Find comfort. But these were not normal circumstances.

Instead, she looked at her friend and saw eyes closed in pain. Behind those eyes, no doubt, Jane's mind was reliving a moment that would haunt her in her dreams. A spew of _what-if'_s and and _why_'s racking her brain.

Maura saw fresh stitches sewn into the side of Jane's forehead. Dried blood still crusted into parts of her hairline. Burns on her hands, covered in bandages. Scratches lacing her neck and the side of her face.

Maura wanted nothing more than to reach out across the middle seat and grab Jane's hand and never let go. Offer some sort of comfort. But she knew a touch wouldn't be enough. Only turning back time would be enough.

So instead, she fidgeted with her own hands, never taking her eye's off of Jane.

* * *

Approximately five hours ago, a murder was committed. When the call came in, Jane and Frost were at Boston Joe's for an afternoon coffee and for Frost to flirt with his new girlfriend.

Since they were already together when they got the call, Frost insisted on driving them to the crime scene. It had seemed like a good idea at the time.

If only they could predict the future.

They were turning onto the street of the crime scene when a suburban ran a red light.

Jane remembers coffee and glass flying through the air before her head hit the window and everything went black.

When she woke up, head throbbing from the impact, hands burning, blood trickling down her cheeks. She looked to her left and screamed.

The driver of the suburban and Detective Barry Frost were killed on impact.

* * *

"Jane?" Maura asked, giving Jane's hand a squeeze.

Without a response, she moved her hand to Jane's shoulder and nudged it gently, "Jane?"

"What?!" Jane's eyes were wide, her breathing quick, "Oh my god, Maur. I just had the worst nightmare. Frost and I were—"

She stopped when she saw Maura's face fall.

"Jane, sweetheart. I'm so sorry," she held back a whimper, "But it wasn't a dream." She paused nodding her head in the direction of the house, "We're here."

Jane shifted her gaze from Maura's teary eyes and focused them on the house outside their car window. Her reality came flooding back.

It was standard protocol for a fallen officer's next of kin to be notified _in person_ by someone of equal or greater rank to the decedent. And in true Rizzoli fashion, she had insisted on being the one. Since making the demand a few hours ago, she hadn't said a word.

So now, here they were. Jane, Maura, Korsak and Frankie sitting in the driveway of a small little house in Maine. A home that belonged to Camille, her wife Robin and son Cameron.

* * *

Somehow, Jane had gotten through it. With Vince, Frankie and Maura planted firmly behind her, she had gotten through it.

She watched as a smiling Camille opened the door only to watch it fall once she laid eyes on Jane's uniform.

"Camille. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but there's been an accident…"

She somehow got through the words that no parent should ever have to hear. The words no partner and friend should ever have to deliver.

She somehow made it through Camille collapsing into her arms, a distraught Robin by her side. A sobbing Cameron.

But now, as she sat on the edge of a bed in a quiet hotel room, she doesn't know how she managed.

Not wanting to be alone, and sensing an impending breakdown, she grabbed her room key and headed across the hall. She only had to knock once before the door flew open.

Jane bit her lip as it trembled, "Hey."

"Hi." Maura said with soft eyes.

"Um, I couldn't sleep—"

"I couldn't either, Jane. Please, come in." Maura said quietly as she moved away from the door and Jane followed her into the room.

"You're still in your uniform, come here. Sit down." Maura said, leading Jane over to the bed and gesturing for her to sit on the edge.

"May I?" Maura questioned, fingers hovering over buttons of Jane's uniform. Jane nodded her head, not quite ready for words.

Silence filled the room as Maura unbuttoned Jane's top, sliding it off her shoulders. She unclipped a bra from beneath Jane's white tank, sliding the straps off and removing the garment through one of the arm holes. She ran her fingers over the scratches that had marked Jane's body earlier today. Placed a kiss on a bruised right shoulder.

Maura shifted her position so she was kneeling on the ground in front of Jane, unzipping one boot and then the other before pulling them off of tired feet. Sitting up, she moved her hands to Jane's belt, unhooking, unzipping, urging Jane to lift her hips so she could slide the heavy trousers off her legs.

Kneeling there in front of her friend, she had never seen such a heartbreaking sight. Her best friend, completely vulnerable in more ways then one. Sitting there in nothing but a tank top and boy-shorts, eyes tired and bewildered, head bowed in defeat.

Jane bit her lip as it trembled once again, "Maura, I—," was all she could get out before collapsing forward against Maura. Heavy, painful sobs jerked through her body. Tears trickling down her cheeks and soaking the skin of Maura's neck and shoulder.

They sat in this position for what felt like hours. It was an awkward position to say the least with Maura kneeling between Jane's legs, Jane hunched over from her spot on the bed, head buried in Maura's neck. Maura's arms wrapped around Jane's waist, rubbing soothing patterns on her back. All she could do was hold on.

When the sobbing slowed and Jane's breathing returned to normal, she finally felt like getting words out.

"Wh-Why him?" she breathed out against Maura's neck, "It-It's not fair. It's not fucking fair!" she yelled as loud as her hoarse voice would allow. "He was a homicide detective! He survived killers and shoot-outs and—" her voice grew angrier as she pushed Maura out of their embrace.

"Why—I could've—"

"You could've what Jane?" Maura asked, taking a seat next to Jane on the bed, reaching for a bandaged hand. "You could've stopped the car from running a red light? You could've turned back time? No, Jane, you couldn't have."

"No, but—" she let her head fall into her hands, "I should've—"

"Should've what?! Should've drove the car?"

"YES!" Jane yelled, lifting her head to look at Maura. "That's exactly what I should've done! It should've been me!"

"Jane—"

"No, Maura! It _should've_ been me! Why do _I_ keep surviving? I keep putting people in danger and I'm always the one that comes out alive!"

"Oh Jane," was all Maura could say after hearing Jane's confession. She pulled her close, once again, threading her fingers through dark curls. "Don't you realize we would all be in the same situation if it _had_ been you? We'd all still be losing a great detective, a partner, a friend, a sister, a daughter? It would be just as devastating, Jane. Don't you realize that? Don't you realize how important you are to so many people?" she paused, "To _me_?"

Jane leaned back from their embrace to look into Maura's eyes. Into eyes that were rimmed red from her own silent tears.

Maura reached out to cup Jane's cheek with her left hand, "And I'm not saying that Barry's death is anything less than devastating, but I just want you to understand that there is nothing you could've done to prevent this. It's _not_ your fault. And if you had been the one driving, we'd all be just as distraught. It wouldn't make this any easier for anyone." Maura finished as she choked back a sob.

"I know, I just— it's not fair. I miss him already," she sighed, "And did you see the look on Camille's face? It's not fair." she sobbed.

"No, it's not. It's not fair."

They sat like that for a few minutes longer before Maura moved to pull back the covers. "Come on," she said, guiding them both under the stiff bedspread.

They both lay beneath the covers, staring blankly up at the ceiling. Both with too many thoughts running through their minds. Both having reached the level of exhaustion that prevents sleep from coming easy.

"Maura?"

"Yes, Jane?"

"Can I…um, can I hold you?"

Maura turned her head to the left to look at Jane's profile.

"Of course." She said, turning on her side before feeling Jane's body press up behind her, arm wrapping around her waist, hand interlacing with Maura's, forehead pressed to the base of her neck.

"Thank you." Jane whispered.

"You're welcome, Jane."

Minutes turned into hours as they lay in silence. Seeking comfort in the warmth of their bodies, of skin on skin, of the thump of their heartbeats. Both with silent tears flowing freely down their cheeks.

"Maur?"

"Yes?" Maura whispered with a sniffle.

"I love you."

She smiled through her tears and squeezed the hand she had been holding against her chest.

"I love you too, Jane. _So_ much."

Jane kissed the neck in front of her and hugged tighter.

The days ahead would not be easy. They would be painful and heartbreaking and sad and upsetting. It would take months, years even, to ease the pain of this loss. But now that love had been revealed through tragedy, it made the days ahead feel a little less scary. A little less lonely.

They would get through it together.

* * *

A/N 2: I would love to hear what you think :) This was originally written as a one-shot, but if there's enough interest, I might continue. Maybe. I'm not sure if I want to let it end here or not.


End file.
